The Dying Fall

Chapter 19: Debut

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Song for this chapter:

Chapter 19: Debut

For the first time ever, Carrie felt anxious about seeing Nano. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to see him—she had, in fact, missed his company this week—she just wished they could meet like normal people their age and not because of a clandestine business arrangement. And, most of all, she wished that Nano wasn’t a dealer who worked for Dryce. She had gone empty-handed to their meeting on Wednesday, after work, and she was coming empty-handed to this meeting too. It hadn’t mattered much the first time: sometimes there was nothing worth picking from the line for days and this had been the case earlier in the week. But on Thursday morning, she had deliberately left her green cloth bag at home because she had decided she wanted out of the deal. Several desirable items had passed through her hands yesterday but she had let them go into the sorting bins with a feeling of relief. Finally, she had made a decision that didn’t come with a burden of guilt.

But now she had to tell Nano.

Nano had warned her before that if she ever decided to end her deal with Dryce, she might not find him willing to let her go. The suggestion had been made that she would have to find another job and now Carrie was seriously considering it. She had passed up the Eco Ministry degree scholarship but she could probably still get a data entry role in an Eco Office. Even that would pay her better than the Plant and it would make her mother happy. Not that her mother’s happiness was her primary aim; she’d spent every evening this week with Meg, sitting in silence with her, sometimes playing cards and communicating every now and then as best they could when Meg was so inclined. Eventually, Meg would fall asleep on Carrie’s shoulder or lap, and then Carrie would head home to lie awake most of the night, thinking about the empty bed next to her.

Nano was pacing up and down, scuffing up the damp earth with his boots, when Carrie reached the clearing in Reddick Wood.

“Hey,” he said, standing still as Carrie slowly walked towards him. “Everything okay?”

Carrie shrugged. “I guess.”

“How’s Meg?”

“Mrs Giles has seen her every day and I think it’s helping. At least she’s eating now and kind of in the room with you when you sit with her.”

“Bloody Earth!” Nano said with sympathy, shoving his hands in his pockets and shaking his head.

Carrie wondered whether Nano ever thought about getting out of the game himself. If he was caught dealing, neurosensory corrosion would only be part of his punishment.

“So,” Nano added. “Got anything for me today?”

“No,” Carrie replied candidly. “Not today. Maybe not next week either.”

Nano’s eyebrows quirked quizzically and he scuffed forward a few steps. “Feeling a bit jittery?” he asked.

“I want out—for good.”

Nano didn’t seem surprised but Carrie could tell it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

“Are you leaving the Plant?”

“My mum has been nagging me to apply for an Eco Office job for over a year. I should probably do us both a favour and give her what she wants.”

Nano smirked, knowing full well Carrie was using her mother as an excuse. “Fine,” he said indifferently. “Just do me a favour and keep your plans to yourself for now.” He took one hand from his pocket and held out to her a black disc and controller. “This is for you.”

Carrie’s heart beat a little faster as she took the bud and controller. “Is it…?”

“Yes,” Nano confirmed. “Your copy to keep.”

Carrie looked at the little black button as the feeling of euphoria she’d experienced the night they’d finished the Vannah rose in her chest. Here was the dream she’d thought impossible, now a tangible reality in the palm of her hand.

“I don’t have to pay for this one?” she asked

Nano snorted. “No.”

“Did you give it to Gubbs?”

“Yeah. He played it at the undersound on Friday.”

“Uh-huh.” Carrie nodded, not daring to ask her next question.

“It went down well,” Nano added, the hint of a self-satisfied smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.

Carrie nodded again and pocketed the bud and controller. “Okay.” She felt relieved but also anxious: the song was out there now and she could no longer protect it.

“Will you come with me to meet someone?” Nano asked.

“Now?”

“It won’t take long.”

Carrie raised an eyebrow suspiciously. “Do you need someone to hold your hand or something?”

Nano gave a wry smile. “You’re welcome to hold my hand if you want. I just need you to come with me.”

“Who is it you’re meeting?”

Nano paused for a second. “A friend wants to see you,” he admitted.

Carrie folded her arms. “What friend?”

Nano came forward a couple of steps in his usual easy-going manner, but his eye had a grave look in it. “An important friend,” he said soberly.

Carrie realised that this invitation wasn’t one that came with the option to decline it. “This friend really wants to see me right now?” she asked carefully.

“Yes.”

Carrie tilted her head to one side whilst she wrestled with her natural defiance. “Okay,” she agreed after a heavy pause.

“Thank you,” Nano said and his gratitude was clearly heartfelt.

Even if Carrie hadn’t already guessed who Nano’s ‘friend’ was, she would have certainly worked it out by the time they reached their destination on a small industrial estate, not far from where Nano lived. Nano smoothly turned their conversation to how he’d asked Rox to download Vannah onto a couple of buds for them, since she had access to the necessary equipment. Obviously, as it was her vocals on the track, he’d let her create her own copy too and she’d been thrilled when the song had got a positive reaction at the undersound. When he’d introduced the track, Gubbs had mentioned that it had been produced locally and Rox had been questioned by a few acquaintances about whether she knew who the producers were…

By the time they turned into a unit for a solar panel repair and replacement company, Carrie’s suspicions were confirmed.

Nano led her past several large, noisy workshops; through a loading area where several beeping vehicles were manoeuvring under the directions of employees in fluorescent jackets and hardhats; and into a separate courtyard where there was a row of run-down, off-white mobile buildings with their blinds drawn down and security cameras blinking at each corner. Nano took Carrie up the steps of one building that had the sign ‘Main Office’ on the door. Nano knocked loudly and a gruff voice yelled: “Come in!”

Inside, the office was an ordered chaos of screens and computers, spread over an arrangement of desks that left little room to pass between them. There was a woman with short-cropped hair and several facial piercings sitting at a desk at the back of the office, eating a bowl of pasta with one hand whilst she navigated a programme on the computer with the other. A news channel babbled quietly in the background on a wall screen. In the centre of a long desk that ran under the front windows, Dryce sat on a large office chair, wearing the same puff-jacket and work boots Carrie had seen him in at the undersound.

Dryce finished what he was doing on one of the laptops in front of him and then swivelled his chair around to face Carrie and Nano. His keen eyes, a rather striking honey colour, ran quickly over them before he gave a brief, toothy grin.

“I’m glad you could come to meet me, Carrie,” he said in an easy-going manner that did nothing to diminish his intimidating presence. Even the fact that he remained seated seemed to demonstrate his gravitas, as the chair, large and accommodating as it was, seemed barely adequate to bear the weighty figure resting in it.

Dryce rubbed the stubble on his chin with his thumb and then beckoned Nano and Carrie to come closer. Nano sauntered forward to lean against a nearby desk and Carrie slowly followed him, her hands dangling uselessly by her sides.

“I enjoy discovering new talent,” Dryce said, his attention mainly on Carrie, as if he was trying to catch every nuance of her body language and facial expression. “I didn’t know Nano had such a good ear, for example,” he continued, “Or I’d have utilised it earlier. But better late than never.”

There came the sound of steps outside the office door and Carrie followed Dryce’s gaze to see Rox standing in the doorway, holding a mug of tea in each hand. She paused when she saw them.

“Want me to come back later?” she asked.

“No, you’re fine, Roxy. Come on in,” Dryce replied. “I’m just having a chat with Carrie and Nano about their track.”

“It’s a sweet tune,” Rox said, winking at Carrie as she squeezed between her and Nano and then past Dryce’s chair, depositing one mug by his elbow on her way to the far end of the window desk.

“It is a sweet tune,” Dryce agreed, his gaze returning to Carrie. “I understand it was well received at the undersound this week. The song is your creation, I believe,” he added, raising his eyebrows just a little at Carrie, as if inviting her to confess.

“The melody and lyrics, yes,” Carrie was compelled to answer.

“You composed the melody yourself?” Dryce checked, as if this was of particular importance.

“Yes.”

“Rox did say it was an original,” Dryce said, thoughtfully. “And she would know—she knows by heart every song that’s circulating out there, and plenty that aren’t yet.”

Carrie caught Rox’s eye for a moment and realised that Rox already knew where this conversation was heading.

“Not many people these days can do what you and Nano have done,” Dryce continued seamlessly, shifting his weight in his chair so that he sat a little taller. “Most don’t have the talent, time or resources.” His eyes flickered meaningfully at Nano for a second and Carrie realised that if he hadn’t known about Nano’s collection of electrical equipment in the basement before, he did now. “I believe talent should be rewarded. I want to distribute your track—Vannah, isn’t it?—on a new bud we’re curating, consisting entirely of new, original songs. Our clients are hungry for fresh highs—particularly contemporary ones. So, I want to pay you a one-off sum for the distribution rights to Vannah.”

Carrie was shocked and she glanced quickly at Nano to see if he was already in on this deal. From the restrained, slightly uneasy puzzlement on his face, he hadn’t know Dryce was going to make them this offer.

“You want to distribute Vannah on buds?” Carrie clarified, in case she’d misunderstood.

“We’ve got a collection of originals on the database and we want to add yours too it,” Dryce confirmed. “All of the originals have proved popular at undersounds, so it makes sense to capitalise on that by making them available on a single bud under a new DEBUT category.”

“How much?” Nano asked, a little cynically.

Dryce gave him a small smile that was pleased rather than offended by the tone of the question. “The same sum I’m offering everyone else—a thousand pounds.”

“Each, right?” Nano said.

Dryce’s smile became toothy again. “Each,” he clarified.

Carrie looked at Nano, who shrugged.

“It’s your song,” he said.

Carrie looked back at Dryce, who was watching her with intense interest. In the grand scheme of things, if the DEBUT bud was successful, Dryce would make a considerable profit, even after the expense of producing and distributing the bud. At the same time, no one had ever taken the risk of producing a bud consisting solely of original tracks and it would be a costly experiment if it failed. His offer was either extremely stingy or extremely generous.

In the smaller scheme of things, a thousand pounds would go a long way to seeing her and her mother through the rest of winter. Carrie would have to come up with a convincing reason for the existence of the extra money, but a thousand pounds wasn’t a sum you turned down, especially from Dryce.

Carrie’s stomach churned a little. This was hardly in line with her plan to get out of her dealings with Dryce and his black market operations. But then, if the payment was a one-off, that would be the deal done, with nothing further required of her. A moment of clarity hit Carrie and she inwardly scoffed at herself. Of course, Dryce bringing her here to make her the offer was merely a courtesy. If she said no, he’d distribute Vannah anyway and there’d be nothing she could do to stop him.

“No one will know we’re the producers, will they?” Carrie asked.

“No. That’s for your safety. You can choose a creator name if you like,” Dryce replied, “But no one will know your real identity except the people in this room and Gubbs.”

That already seemed like too many people to Carrie, but she gave Nano a look to check they were in agreement and then nodded. “Okay.”

Dryce leant forward in his chair, which creaked at the movement, and extended a hand to Carrie. “It’s a deal then,” he said, shaking Carrie’s hand.

For a second, Carrie was reminded of the man in the woollen hat, who might have been her father, standing on the street with Dryce outside the undersound. If that man really was her father, did Dryce know Carrie was his daughter? Did he know she was the sister of the girl who had been shot dead in the street with one of his buds playing in her ear?

Dryce released Carrie’s hand and then turned to shake Nano’s. “Better do a good job of selling this DEBUT bud when it’s ready,” he said.

“I always do a good job,” Nano replied with a sneer. “In fact, I reckon I’m due a bigger cut.”

“Don’t get cocky,” Dryce said mildly. He turned to Carrie. “I don’t imagine you’ll want to walk out of here with a grand knocking about your person. I’ll have the cash left at Nano’s and you can pick it up in lump sums from there. I assume you’ll be working on another track now?”

“That depends,” Nano said, moving past Carrie to the door. “Are you offering two thousand pounds each for the next one?”

“Get out, you little sod,” Dryce responded dryly, swivelling on his chair to face his laptop again. “It was nice to meet you again, Carrie,” he added, as Carrie followed Nano to the door.

Carrie paused to look back at Dryce, who now had his back to her as he sat at his desk. A reply didn’t seem expected, so she left the office and hurried down the steps after Nano. As they made their way through the industrial unit, Carrie hoped that was the last time she would ever have a reason to see Dryce again.

“What you said earlier,” Nano said, as they headed back to the centre of town. “About wanting out—it would be best to keep that between us for now.”

“You mean, don’t tell Dryce?”

“Not until after you’ve left the Plant and there’s nothing he can do about it. Keep picking up the odd scrap here and there, just enough to avoid suspicion, and then when you’ve moved on, I’ll break the news.”

“Okay,” Carrie agreed reluctantly. Nano’s suggestion made sense but she didn’t much like the idea of prolonging the risk of stealing from the electronics line. “Now you’ve tested out your production programme,” she added, “What will you do next?”

Nano smiled. “I’ve got some ideas,” he said, “But I’m kinda hoping you’ve got something genius in that journal which you need to get off the page and on the airwaves.”

“For Dryce to sell?” Carrie asked bluntly.

“For the hell of it,” Nano replied. “Screw Dryce! He’s only interested in what will make him money. And yeah…” he admitted with a shrug, “There’s an intense high that comes from hearing a song you created played at an undersound and watching how people respond to it. But Vannah sounded best the night we finished it, when we were the first people to hear it in all its raw glory. I want that high again. Bringing music into this shitty world somehow seems to have made it a little less shitty.”

A smile crept to Carrie’s lips. It was strange but affirming to hear someone else articulate her own experience so precisely.

“You’re going soft,” she said.

“I know,” Nano said matter-of-factly.

“You know there’s no hope for either of us?” Carrie said. “This is worse than consuming buds—we’ll never be able to let this high go.”

“I know,” Nano said again, this time with emphasis. “And that’s why we’re going to have to be extra careful, if we don’t want to end up—” He caught himself and shrugged instead.

A Patrol car passed them as they paused on the curb. They waited until it turned at the end of the street and then crossed over to the opposite pavement.

“Do you ever feel like someone might be watching you?” Carrie asked hesitantly.

“Apart from that lot?” Nano asked.

Carrie wrinkled her nose. “I was stopped by the Patrol the other day and they also tried to stop someone who was walking behind me, but they made a run for it and got away. One of the officers seemed to think whoever it was had been following me.”

“Following you?” Nano sounded incredulous. “Who would do that?”

“I don’t know,” Carrie said. “Maybe I’m getting paranoid, but sometimes, when I’m in town or getting off the bus from work, I feel like I’m being watched.”

“We’re all being watched in one way or another,” Nano said wryly. “You can barely go ten minutes on the streets these days without seeing the Patrol.”

“Meg told me they’re expecting some sort of trouble—a protest of some sort?”

“People are getting a bit wound up,” Nano said. “That always leads to trouble.”

They slowed their pace as they came into the square and stopped at a corner, letting the shoppers skirt around them without breaking their stride or focus.

“Coming over tomorrow?” Nano asked.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Carrie said uncertainly.

Nano grinned. “Ten o’clock—don’t be early.”

Carrie rolled her eyes but didn’t reply as Nano turned and sauntered away. She was tempted for a moment to run after him and suggest they get to work on something this very evening. But she’d promised her mother she would cook dinner tonight and it wouldn’t be fair to let her down. Something had started to shift between her and her mother. The frustration Carrie had directed at her mother for such a long time had dissipated and now the person she felt wronged by was her father. It was hypocritical to be angry at him for his addiction and its consequences, but there was no denying he had been weak and selfish. He’d broken his promise and cared little about how that would affect his family. He’d let her and Savannah grow up without a father, and then, when it was convenient for him, he’d reappeared and made contact with Savannah. Carrie thought it likely that he’d asked Savannah to join him, perhaps even persuaded her to sign up to Dextinction, and that was why Savannah had asked Nano to look out for Carrie when she no longer could. The more she thought about it, the more Carrie’s anger with her father solidified. Was he going to try the same thing with her? And if so, why hadn’t he already? Perhaps he didn’t even think about her anymore. Her mother, at least, cared enough to question her, nag her, and take a suspicious interest in her life.

The house was empty when Carrie got home and there was a note in the kitchen to say her mother had popped over to Mrs Giles’s to fix a couple of things. Carrie set about tidying the kitchen and then turned to the recipe file for the evening’s dinner. She searched all the way through the book twice before searching through the kitchen drawers in case the recipe had been misplaced. Failing to find it anywhere, Carrie grabbed her keys and headed over the road to Mrs Giles’s, reckoning on her mother having taken it out of the folder when she’d gone to the market that morning.

The door was slightly ajar and Carrie didn’t bother with the bell, since she knew this was one of the things her mother had come to fix. She tapped on the doorframe to signal her presence and slipped into the hall without waiting for a response. She stopped a few steps into the house and held her breath as her attention was immediately drawn to the living room door, which was open just a crack. On the other side of the door, someone was singing. They weren’t singing loudly—it was a soft sound, as if the singer wasn’t fully aware themselves of the melody escaping their lips. Creeping towards the door, Carrie pushed it open a fraction further and put her eye to the crack.

In the room beyond, she saw Mrs Giles’s old furniture, the dressmaker’s dummies and layers of clothes that needed mending laid out on the back of the sofa. In the corner near the television, Molly was standing on a wooden chair, screwdriver in one hand as she fixed the doorbell light. She was turned sideways on to Carrie, but Carrie could still see her lips moving and a slight sway in her hips as she sang whilst she worked. Molly’s face had relaxed out of its usual stern lines and there was a slightly dreamy quality to her look, evidence of the fact that whilst her attention appeared to be on the light, her soul was elsewhere. Carrie recognised that look: she’d seen it on Savannah’s face many times before.

As she withdrew from the door and crept back along the hall, Carrie’s heart twisted painfully and her lip trembled as she crossed the road to her own house. Shutting the door behind her, she paused with her back to it and listened with a fresh ear to the silence of the house, realising now the secret it had been hiding all this time.

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Next weekend: Chapter 20—That Strain Again

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Author’s Notes:

Carrie finally making some decisions that aren’t completely terrible.

Chapter 20: That Strain Again, coming next weekend.

PJ