The Hanahaki Club: Episode 25
Episode 25: Rooftop Consolations
So far…
Merryn revealed her secret crush to Taran, and now he has arranged to meet her on the Old Gym roof.
Episode 25: Rooftop Consolations
Taran was already on the roof when Merryn arrived. He was leaning with his arms folded on the concrete guard rail and watching the activity of the campus below with the same disinterest someone might watch a company of ants scurrying across a patio on a hot summer’s day. He didn’t bother to avert his gaze to acknowledge Merryn until she was leaning on the guardrail too, a clear foot away to avoid scaring him off. She gave him a smile in greeting and he cast a searching look over her face before confessing: “I’m in love with my best friend’s girlfriend”.
Merryn could feel herself blushing immediately, partly because the statement was so blunt and unexpected, and partly because second-hand mortification was a very real thing when you already knew too well what it was like to feel the exact same mortification first-hand.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “That sucks.”
Taran shrugged and went back to staring out over the guardrail. “They’re both my best friends,” he said in a tone that was slightly cold, as if he were trying to keep his explanation as factual as possible, without letting his feelings get involved. “Cherie and I were actually best friends first. We met at pre-school, and then we both met Kai in our first year of primary school. The three of us have been inseparable ever since.” He shrugged again. “Well, until recently.”
“Do either of them know how you feel?”
“No. Kai asked Cherie out just days after he told me how he felt about her, and she immediately accepted, so… that was that.”
“How long have you been in love with her?”
“I don’t know… I just woke up one day and realised I was down bad and had been for a while. But I didn’t know if she felt the same way, and I didn’t want to screw up our friendship by jumping the gun… and then Kai beat me to it anyway and I guess I got my answer. And it sucks. It sucks so bad that I didn’t act first. And sucks even more that, even if I had, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway—Cherie would still have chosen Kai. I want to be happy for them both, but it’s hard when all I feel is regret and resentment. ”
Merryn watched Taran grimace, like he was reliving the moment his heart was so decisively shattered. He had a calm, almost nonchalant way of speaking, but Merryn could tell from the tension in his face and the way he kept his gaze fixed on the campus below that he was trying not to show how much it was hurting him to admit all of this to her. It wasn’t just that his pride was wounded, or that his heart was broken, but that he clearly felt guilty for feeling this way about his best friends and their new-found happiness.
Taran shifted his feet back a little so he could lean his chin on his crossed arms, and then tilted his head to look at Merryn with an intense gaze. “Does this make me an arsehole?”
“It makes you really unlucky.”
“I went on a double date with them on Saturday.”
Merryn scrunched her nose. “Why?”
“Cherie wanted to set me up with one of her friends… she’s got this idea stuck in her head about finding me a girlfriend and the four of us going on double dates together.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I told her I wasn’t interested, but that’s not going to stop her.”
“She should respect your boundaries.”
Taran snorted. “Yeah, right. Cherie is the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”
Merryn frowned. “If she’s your friend she should respect your wishes. Your love life is none of her business.”
“She means well,” Taran said with an assurance that warned Merryn off making any further criticisms, “It’s just her way of trying to keep me included—stop me from being left out or having to be the third wheel all the time.”
“Being the third wheel does suck,” Merryn agreed, turning her gaze to the long rectangular extension off the main building that housed the canteen, where, right at this moment, her friends were having lunch together. “All my friends are coupled up and we never do anything that’s just us girls anymore. Even when we’re at college together, all they talk about is their boyfriends.”
“Sounds boring as hell.”
“It is when you can’t join in.”
“So what’s the deal with your sister and her boyfriend?”
Merryn felt the blood rush to her cheeks again and suddenly her ears were burning under her hat. She glanced at Taran, found he still had a keen gaze locked on her, and then hastily looked away again, down at her own folded arms. “Uh, well…” She coughed softly, feeling, after hearing Taran’s story, that her situation was kind of stupid. “Sye is our neighbour, and he and Leah—my sister—started going out a few months ago. The three of us have been close friends for three years—we sort of did everything together—and I’ve always had a crush on Sye, but he’s older, so it’s not like I ever really expected him to feel the same way. I just didn’t…uh…”
“You didn’t know he liked your sister?”
Merryn blushed even harder at hearing someone else say it aloud—she’d been so, so stupid—and curled over to hide her face in her arms with a groan. “No,” she admitted plaintively. “I’m so dumb. It's obvious now and everyone else apparently knew, but Leah kept saying they were just friends and I believed her. And that’s not her fault… I should have realised, but I’m an idiot. A stupid, naïve, pathetic idiot.”
Merryn heard Taran shift next to her and then she heard him chuckle and the sound was suddenly right at her shoulder. She turned her head to glance at him and found he was standing almost arm to arm with her, staring out over the campus with a small smile on his face.
“Well,” he said, “You’re not the only one, are you?” And then he turned to look at her and his smile became a wry sort of grin.
“Will you come back to the hanahaki group?” Merryn asked.
Taran looked unimpressed. “Persistent, aren’t you?”
“Don’t you want to hear about Emery’s crazy plan to cure her hanahaki?”
Taran raised an eyebrow. “So you only go for the gossip?”
Merryn eyed him for a second and then grinned back. “You’re curious, aren’t you?”
Taran scoffed and turned around so his back was against the guard rail. His elbow brushed against hers as he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and looked down at his scuffed high-tops. “I’ve got enough drama going on without having to listen to someone else’s. Does your sister know about your hanahaki?”
“No. Only my mum. I made her promise not to tell anyone else.”
“I keep thinking I should just get a girlfriend to get Cherie and Kai off my back. But then I think that wouldn’t be very fair to the girl I was dating.”
Merryn didn’t say anything but hummed softly as she pushed herself back up into a standing position and titled her chin up to eye the pale clouds that floated above them like tufts of sheep wool.
“Do you think you can get over one person by dating someone else?”
“Don’t know,” Merryn replied. “Depends on the person, probably.” Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Taran mimic her by tilting his head back to watch the clouds too. “How’s your internal meadow?” she asked.
“Pretty shit,” Taran answered bluntly. “I hate being on a time limit. Seven months and I’ll either have to have the operation and forget Cherie ever existed, or die. What kind of shitty-arse joke is that?”
“It is pretty shitty,” Merryn agreed. And really, really awkward, she thought. How was she supposed to cut Sye out of her life without cutting out Leah too? How was she ever going to explain all of this to her sister when the time came? If only this had happened next year, instead of now—she’d be done with college by the time she had to have the operation and could plausibly leave home to go travelling or find an apprenticeship abroad—anywhere where she wouldn’t have to encounter Sye and risk triggering her memories and the disease all over again. Merryn sighed, tipped her head downwards again and pushed herself away from the guardrail.
“So, what are you going to do?” she asked Taran. “Keep going on double dates?”
“Hell, no,” Taran replied aggressively to the sky. “I’m not going through that again.” He tilted his head to look at Merryn. “I’ll just have to be more stubborn than Cherie, I guess.”
“Good luck with that.”
Taran pushed himself away from the wall and they started to walk across the roof to the exit together.
“If you ever want to get away from your boyfriend-obsessed friends,” Taran said, as they paused at the top of the stairwell, “You have my number, right?”
Merryn smiled into her scarf. “Thanks,” she said. “Same goes for you—if you get sick of third-wheeling.”
“Thanks.”
Merryn indicated the gloom of the staircase. “I’ll let you go first. It will be weird if we’re seen leaving together.”
Taran made an amused noise through his nose as he started descending the stairs and then his voice echoed eerily up to her from the concrete well as he called back: “Ha! Yeah… don’t want anyone finding out about our loser club, do we?”
Next time: Episode 26—Library Consolations
Teaser:
Hassie looked up from scanning the title page of the script and found Leon’s gaze fixed on her with a smile so sincere her internal organs spontaneously began to melt, like they were made of wax. “Congrats on your role,” he said.
“Oh,” Hassie said, flustered by the sensation of her heart suddenly puddling behind her ribcage. “You too, Mr Leading Man.”
Zeke clapped Leon on the shoulder. “You and Tabitha are going to knock it out of the park, dude. You’ll be the next Romeo and Juliet.”
“Didn’t they both die unnecessarily and tragically young?” Izaak asked wryly.
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Author’s Notes:
I’ll admit it first… I’m just here for the gossip.
Next time: Episode 26—Library Consolations
PJ
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Wonderful as usual. I’m sure f I try to predict the outcome I’ll be hit by a curve ball😂